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In Celebration of Robert L. Davis Eulogy Delivered by Cynthia Davis Father, husband, uncle, cousin, son, minister, friend, mentor, teacher: Dad played many roles in our lives .. with warmth, empathy, love and -- nearly always -- with music. He was born on November 13, 1930, in Omar (Logan County), West Virginia, the son of Addie Jay Walker and Russell Davis, both originally of Kentucky. Throughout his life he drew strength and inspiration from the close family ties, religious values, love of learning, love of sports and the many musical experiences of his childhood and youth. David Taylor, his "cuz," remembers from their school days how much he and Bob passionately loved sports and of course especially football. Bob wanted so much to be a football player, and he was deeply disappointed that he was always too small for the team. So, instead, he joined the band -- and he sometimes said that if he had been a bit taller he might never have become a musician! David remembers that Bob learned by heart all the local high school drum cadences, and that the two of them would play "Name That Cadence" and "Name That College Fight Song". (Bob always won, says David...) Later, when he served for a season as music director of the SMU Mustang Band, it was an extraordinary accomplishment for him to be so passionately and professionally involved in the two things he had loved most during his high school career. * * * Throughout his life, Dad was a devoted son and remained close to his parents. Dad and Grandmother Jay loved reminiscing about the Air Force's Mother's Day contest: While serving in the Air Force during the Korean War, he had entered an essay contest in praise of mothers and Mother's Day -- which he won! As a prize, the Air Force flew his mother all the way to Puerto Rico, where Dad was stationed at the time. A ceremony was held in Jay's honor and she got to "review the troops" as they stood at parade rest. He and Jay often told the story of what was certainly one of the proudest days of both their lives. When Dad entered the ministry, earning a Bachelor's Degree of Divinity at the College of the Bible (later called Lexington Theological Seminary), his love of music found new expression in the area of music ministry and education, and especially choral conducting. He served as Minister of Music & Education and in similar positions in churches in Galveston, Dallas, Winnsboro and Sherman. In each place he started progressive and musically ambitious programs; he genuinely tried to bring together the practices of music and worship, but also to stretch the appreciation and taste of his congregations to include truly great religious works. He admired and studied with the conductor Lloyd Pfautsch, who embodied for Dad much of what he strove for as a conductor. And, as anyone who ever saw him in front of a band or choir or orchestra knows, he was truly a beautiful conductor; his hands and his whole body guided, supported, coaxed and inspired everyone who played for him. * * * Sometimes it seemed as though our growing family was really just one more branch of Dad's grand musical program. Of course he loved us all dearly: Stephen (Bass & oboist), Alfred (Tenor & french horn player), Robert (Baritone & pianist), and me (Alto & string player)! At around the time the movie version of Sound of Music came out, we had become our own "Davis Family Singers & Players," much in demand for church socials and impromptu living room performances! When we kids were young, we had not only a Dad and a minister at home, but most of us also sang and played in his church choirs and bell choirs and instrumental groups. Dad somehow even managed to be Al's first school band director, having moved into public school music education by that time! * * * My father had a sweetness that I remember and cherish. As a small child I remember at bedtime he would often pick me up and carry me off to bed singing quietly in his deep bass voice. It makes me happy when I see this sweetness, too, in each of my brothers. As a father, Bob was gentle, thoughtful and supportive. He was never too busy to listen and spend time with us; and he had a rare talent for actually hearing and respecting what we said and felt. I have great memories of playing ping pong and tennis with my him, getting help with my homework, going to plays, and attending ballets and musicals. Stephen remembers listening to the Saturday afternoon Metropolitan opera broadcasts with him, sometimes following the score together, and also reading the Sunday New York Times each week--on Thursday--in Sherman Texas--not something that most Dads in Sherman were likely to do! Alfred remembers how genuinely open-minded Dad was. In the 60s and 70s, a lot was changing, and Bob listened, reflected and changed too. Because of this he was able to help all of us learn and grow and appreciate differences in people and adapt to new ways of thinking. His compassion and caring showed itself in many ways, including his helping to found a "Head Start" program in Sherman and promoting interracial understanding and acceptance through church educational programs. Dad's spirit of tolerance and love for his children also allowed him to support them in their different paths and relationships they found in their lives, which were not always predictable or conventional. This, in particular, was a great gift to Stephen in his partnership with Jeffrey, and to me in my partnership with Tracy. One of the most moving moments in my life was when Dad spoke at our wedding celebration in 1994. * * * Dad was always reading ... his thirst for knowledge was abundant. He loved language and savored words and dialects, regionalisms and sayings. Stephen remembers that Bob's letters to him were always sprinkled with German, Latin and French words, etymologies, quotations, explanations and stories. He had a quick intelligence and fine writing style. Bob always had a dictionary by his chair or bed and if anyone at dinner was foolish enough to wonder aloud at the meaning or origin of a word, eating and conversation would have to stop until the dictionary had been located and the correct meaning and pronunciation provided. Dad was only the second person in his family ever to attend college and he deeply valued education. He was so proud of his Uncle Russell Walker (the first to go to college) who had earned a PhD. and became a tenured professor at the University of Tampa, Florida. Dad was multitalented and seemed to know something about almost everything. Over the course of his life, he taught music, Spanish, guitar, English grammar, drama, choir, band and orchestra. He always tried to stretch the talents of his students, his congregants, and his children, and to give them a broader picture and to help them take the next steps in their lives and careers. Dad had so many special loves and passions, and he loved savoring and sharing them with others: Chopin Nocturnes, Bernadette Peters, sturdy old hymns, peanut butter, fresh flowers, Leonard Bernstein, the Dallas Cowboys, Wagner, musicals, New York City, a certain hot dog stand in Huntington, W.Va., the German language, Appalachia, his West Virginia and Kentucky heritage, his Cherokee blood, his family history and genealogy. As a teacher, as a minister, as a father, as a husband, as a mentor and friend he tried to live his values. In his thesis on music education in 1957 he wrote words that seem to apply more broadly than he probably meant at the time. To quote from his text:
Above and beyond all his talents and enthusiasms, there's no question in my mind that the greatest love of my father's life was Jean Edgecomb Davis. Jean shared love and life with my father for 28 years. Jean remembers my father's unwavering belief in her talents and gifts: he brought out her best self, and together they shared so much in common. Whenever Jean had to leave town for a few days, for concerts or dog shows, he would always stand outside on the driveway and wave until she was out of sight. Upon her return, he would always leave a note on a special teddy bear or on her pillow welcoming her back. She was his guiding star, his companion, and his support--always and especially through the last two difficult years. I think that it's not too much to say that she truly kept him alive and with us for these months-- and that he stayed alive and with us for her. Dad we are proud of you ... we miss you ... we carry you, as a melody in our hearts, on this day and in all of the days that follow. BLESSED BE ..... AMEN! |